Happy 4th July and F*uk First Friday!!!
Happy 4th July y’all! This is the day of the year I get to watch y’all get excited about getting over us Brits having control over you for so long – just kidding lol
So coincidentally this year the 4th July is the first Friday of the month – and do you know what that means? Yes you got it. All those whore “bloggers” who are actually just credit card sales people start pumping out irrelevant posts about some mediocre credit card and a terrible “benefit” it offers. This “benefit” is designed with exactly one purpose in mind – the bank giving fodder to it’s obedient sales force to put out more pimping posts. Of course those of us who really know the miles and points game realize it’s a gimmick, but still I think we should take this back from the bank with a F*uk First Friday campaign! Here is what I think we should all do:
Churn a New Credit Card
Banks hate churning so much they make the whore “bloggers” sign up to terms saying they won’t discuss it or else they lose their links. And given they treat their links like Gollum treated the Ring – “oh my precious” – then you don’t hear much about it these days.
The offending bank here is Chase and churning their cards is not always the easiest, but the nice exception is the business Ink line of cards. There is a whole variety of different flavors which you can go through, and when you are done you can start going through them again using different business names. Get creative! Registering a business is not a difficult task. Y’all are smart enough to deal with cards in a sensible manner so go for it! One biz for your eBay sales, one for your Amazon sales, one for your Twitter account etc.
Sign Up Via Good Blogs
When you get the new cards don’t feed the whores but do use an affiliate link because then it costs the banks even more money. I was hoping I could think of a couple of suggestions here but I can only think of one. I always use and recommend Greg’s FrequentMiler blog. He’s the only guy I see in this business with comprehensive, unbiased links: http://frequentmiler.boardingarea.com/best-credit-card-sign-up-offers/
Meet Min Spend Using 5x Only
Go to Staples and buy gift cards. There are plenty of ways to liquidate. Whatever you do make sure you make it as painful as possible for the bank. 5x on $5k min spend turns your 50k offer into a 75k offer.
Get More Points For Retention
A month or so before the annual fees on your swathe of business cards comes due, call up customer service and tell them how shit their credit card is and you don’t want to pay the fee for it. They will give you some scripted crap about the “benefits” but push a little more and you will get offered some points for keeping the card. Take the offer and chalk up some more miles.
Cancel Card to Avoid Annual Fee
After taking the retention offer and getting the extra points cancel the card anyway. Who pays annual fees? Idiots and people who read whore bloggers, that’s who!!
And when you are done with all that… do it again!
I suggest you mark the First Friday of the month as the time to put this all in action and check your progress. And while you are at it, go out for lunch, pay with cash, and stick your middle finger up as you pass by your nearest Chase branch.
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